London - Sunday 29th June

Ok, bad start. The flight is 2 hours delayed. I got up at 5 something, got here at 7 something, Mum left at 8 something. It's now 11 something and we are STILL on the tarmac. Is this a bad omen. Things come in 3's, things come in 3's...

Why am I chanting this? Because they do. Firstly I got my bag stolen from a cloakroom on Friday night: phone, house keys, book half-read, comic un-read, insurance documents... Wait, insurance documents AND house keys - Nooooooooooooooo!
So, secondly I then had to get my landlady to replace the locks on the house, AND give all housemates a key. How many people is that? Re: How MUCH is that? Oh well, something to worry about when I get back. The good thing is the money, passport, holiday stuff were NOT in the bag. So, third thing: flight is delayed; it's like I said: things come in 3's.

Jolt awake: take off. Can we skip the 9 hour flight? Good...

So, Miami airport turns out to be chaos, in fact Latino chaos. I would tell you what went on but all announcements, bag handlers, people, were speaking Spanish. So I have no idea, I did get my bag I know that much. And then I stepped outside... Whooaaahh what is that weird sensation; like my head is imploding? HEAT! Major major heat, like a wall of heat. Has there been a nuclear explosion and this is that wall of fire you see straight afterwards? No, it's just Florida in June Clare.

The only interesting thing about the Shuttle bus to my hotel, apart from the fact I found it and got on it, is that I met a woman from New Mexico on it. Not only did she have THE whitest teeth I have ever seen (I smiled a no-teeth smile all the way in utter English shame). But she had the audacity to ask me, whilst we looked for her hotel, if I "was from here". I mean 'lady' would you look at the supreme paleness of my skin?

The long and the short of the next bit is: I checked into my hotel, went-out bought rice from a Spanish woman, fruit and salad from an Indian man, marvelled at how like London it is, and tried to fast-detox my system from airplane food before literally passing out.